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eCondoms joke Joke :-)) on condoms, lingerie, adult toys

Russian Condoms

Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency:
"Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried.

"My people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!"

"Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you," replied the President.

"I do need your help" said Putin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms as soon as possible to tide us over?"

"Why certainly! I'll get right on it,"said Bush.

"Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin. "Yes?"

"Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Putin.

"No problem," replied the President.

Mr. Putin hung up and started laughing with his aides about how those stupid Americans will fall for anything.

George hung up and called the President of a condom company. "I need a favor, you've got to send 1,000,000 condoms right away over to Russia."

"Consider it done," said the president of the condom company.

"Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10" long and 4" wide."

"Easily done. Anything else?"

"Yeah," said the President, "print 'Made in America, size small' on each one!"

NearlyGood.com
 

Durex Condoms & Play

Durex Extra Safe (Ref 001)

 
Special Offer pack of 12 Extra Safe for £7.00 , 36 for £20.00
Durex Extra-safe are shaped to provide a better fit and feel during love making
Easy on shape, transparant, teat-ended, natural rubber latex condoms containing non - spermicidal lubricant.
Durex Extra safe are a Popular choice with our customers as they are slightly thicker for extra reassurance.
Nominal width 56mm at base. More...
Pack of 3 @ £3.00 Out Of Stock
Pack of 12 @ £7.00 Out Of Stock
Pack of 36 @ £20.00 Out Of Stock
Pack of 72 @ £38.00 Out Of Stock
LOOSE
Pack of 12 @ £5.50 Out Of Stock
LOOSE
Pack of 24 @ £10.00 Out Of Stock
LOOSE
Pack of 48 @ £18.00 Out Of Stock
LOOSE
Pack of 96 @ £34.00 Out Of Stock

Trial selection ( ref 90 )

 
Deal of the week, we are offering you the chance to try three of the top Durex condoms for £20.

12 Durex Sensation with raised dots for greater stimulation.
Nominal width 52mm

12 Durex Pleasuremax with a ribbed and dotted texture.
Nominal width 56mm

12 Durex Ribbed condoms have unique ribbing for added sensation.
Nominal width 53mm
All contain non-spermicidal lubricant.
Always read the information leaflet. More...
Pack of 36 @ £23.00 Out Of Stock

Durex Fetherlite (Ref 002)

 
Durex Fetherlite condoms are ultra fine for extra sensitivity during love making.
New easy-on shape to provide a better fit and feel.
Transparent, shaped, teat-ended, natural rubber latex condoms with non-spermicidal lubricant.
Our best seller of all time.
Dermatologically tested
Nominal width: 56mm.
Durex Play and Durex sensilube for those needing that extra lubricant, are now popular with customers buying Durex Fetherlite. More...
Pack of 3 @ £3.29 Out Of Stock
Pack of 12 @ £7.89 Out Of Stock
Pack of 36 @ £21.00 Out Of Stock
Pack of 72 @ £39.99 Out Of Stock

Durex Elite (Ref 003)

 
Extra lubricated and Ultra fine, customers buy Durex Elite for a truly sensual feeling.
Elite is shaped to be easier to put on and to provide a better fit and feel during lovemaking.
Transparent, shaped, teat-ended, natural rubber latex condom with a non-spermicidal lubricant.
Use a condoms only once. No method of contraception can provide 100% protection against pregnacy, HIV or sexually transmitted infections, always read the instruction leaflet.
Nominal width: 54mm. More...
Pack of 12 @ £7.50 Out Of Stock
Pack of 36 @ £21.50 Out Of Stock
Pack of 72 @ £40.00 Out Of Stock
Loose
Pack of 12 @ £6.00 Add
Loose
Pack of 24 @ £11.00 Add
Loose
Pack of 48 @ £20.00 Add
Loose
Pack of 96 @ £38.00 Add

Durex Pleasuremax (Ref 48)

 
Special Offer, 12 Durex Pleasuremax £8.00, 36 for £23.00
NEW from Durex, Pleasuremax have a uniquely positioned, raised ribbed and dotted texture designed to maximise stimulation for you and your partner.
This combined with an easy-on shape ensures that both of you enjoy ultimate pleasure and intensity.
Read instruction leaflet carefully.
Nominal width: 56mm More...
Pack of 12 @ £8.00 Out Of Stock
Pack of 36 @ £23.00 Out Of Stock
Pack of 72 @ £42.00 Out Of Stock
Loose
Pack of 12 @ £6.00 Add
Loose
Pack of 24 @ £11.00 Add
Loose
Pack of 48 @ £20.00 Add
Loose
Pack of 96 @ £38.00 Add

Durex Pleasuremax Warming Condoms (Ref 004)

 
Now with Warming Lubricant, Durex Pleasuremax have raised dots and ribs to maximise stimulation for both partners.

More...
Pack of 12 @ £8.00 Add
Pack of 36 @ £23.00 Add
Pack of 72 @ £42.00 Add

Durex Pleasure Box Condoms and Vibrating Ring(052)

 
A sexy treat to help you sizzle between the sheets! The Durex Pleasure Box includes 6 Durex Pleasuremax Condoms to maximise stimulation for both partners and a Durex Play Vibrations vibrating condom ring for extra excitement! More...
Pack of 1 @ £7.50 Add

Durex Pleasure Kit Condoms Lube and Vib Ring (053)

 
The perfect pleasure kit for couples! Whether it's a sexy night in or a romantic weekend away, the Durex Pleasure Kit is the ideal way to spice up your love life. Includes 3 Pleasuremax Condoms, 3 Play Massage sachets and a Durex Play Vibrations vibratin More...
Pack of 1 @ £7.50 Add

Durex Tingle ( ref 009)

 
NEW Durex Tingle condoms are coated in a special Mint flavoured lubricant to create a gentle tingling sensation, heightening stimulation for both partners.
Tingle has an easy on shape providing extra comfort and a better fit and feel during love making.
Read the instruction leaflet care-fully.
Use a condom only once.
Transparent, shaped, teat-ended natural latex condoms with a mint flavoured lubricant.
Nominal width: 56mm More...
Pack of 12 @ £8.50 Add
Pack of 24 @ £16.50 Add
Pack of 36 @ £24.50 Add

Durex Ribbed (Ref 007)

 
Durex Ribbed condoms have uniquely positioned ribbing, designed for greater sensation during love making.Ribbed, teat-ended, natural rubber latex condoms wth a non-spermicidal lubricant. Dermatologically tested.
Nominal width 53mm

Durex seal of quality are trademarks of the SSL group. More...
Pack of 12 @ £8.75 Add
Pack of 36 @ £25.00 Add
Pack of 72 @ £47.50 Add
LOOSE
Pack of 12 @ £5.50 Out Of Stock
LOOSE
Pack of 24 @ £9.50 Out Of Stock
LOOSE
Pack of 48 @ £18.00 Out Of Stock
LOOSE
Pack of 96 @ £30.00 Out Of Stock

Durex Sensation (Ref 036)

 
Durex Sensation have a unique raised-dotted texture to create extra pleasure and intensity. Over 500 raised dots where you need it most!
Teat ended with non-spermicidal Lubricant.
No method of contraception can provide 100% protection against pregnacy, HIV or sexually transmitted infections.
Nominal width: 52 mm. More...
Pack of 3 @ £3.29 Out Of Stock
Pack of 12 @ £9.00 Out Of Stock
Pack of 36 @ £26.00 Out Of Stock
Pack of 72 @ £50.00 Out Of Stock

Durex Pleasure Pack

 
New from Durex, Pleasure pack, an assortment of exciting condoms and personal lubricant to enhance your love life.This pack contains:-
3 Durex Tingle condoms, coated in a lubricant that creates a tingling sensation for both partners.
Easy on shape condoms with a mint flavoured lubricant.
3 Durex pleasuremax raised ribbed and dotted condoms designed to maximise stimulation for you and your partner.
3 Performa condoms especially designed to prolong sexual excitement and enhance lovemaking
Each Condom contains a small amount of mild anaesthetic cream that de-sensitises the head of the Penis, delaying a man's climax for longer lasting lovemaking
3 Play Heat sachets that create a warming sensation that will heighten sensitivity on contact. More...
Pack of 12 @ £9.50 Add
Pack of 36 @ £27.00 Add
Pack of 72 @ £53.49 Add

Durex Performa (Ref 035)

 
Durex Performa have been specially designed to prolong sexual excitement and enhance lovemaking.
Each Condom contains a small amount of mild anaesthetic cream that de-sensitizes the head of the Penis, delaying a man's climax and thus prolonging his erection for longer lasting lovemaking.
Transparent, shaped, teat-ended with lubricant.
Nominal width: 54mm. More...
Pack of 3 @ £3.29 Out Of Stock
Pack of 12 @ £8.50 Out Of Stock
Pack of 36 @ £24.50 Out Of Stock
Pack of 72 @ £48.00 Out Of Stock
LOOSE
Pack of 12 @ £6.00 Add
LOOSE
Pack of 24 @ £11.00 Add
LOOSE
Pack of 48 @ £20.00 Add
LOOSE
Pack of 96 @ £38.00 Add

Durex Select (Ref 006)

 
Special Offer £23.00 for 36.Durex Select condoms are coloured and flavoured to add extra fun to your love life. Recommended for oral sex too.
The pack contains a selection of Strawberry, Banana, Orange and kiwi flavours.
Nominal width 52mm More...
Pack of 12 @ £8.00 Out Of Stock
Pack of 36 @ £23.00 Out Of Stock

Durex Avanti Ultima (Ref 008)

 
NEW Durex Avanti Ultima are non-latex condoms for latex sensitive users.
Made from Polyisoprene material which is different to the previous polyurethane Durex Avanti material.

Existing customers of Durex Avanti please read the information leaflet carefully.
Durex Avanti Ultima condoms have been dermatologically tested and under test conditions have been shown to have minimal potential for induced delayed hypersensitivity ( also called "Type IV allergy" and "allergic contact dermatitis")

Some latex sensitive individuals, however, may experience sensitivity to these condoms and should seek medical advice. Should you experience any allergic reaction, discontinue use and contact your doctor.

Nominal width: 56mm More...
Pack of 5 @ £9.00 Add
Pack of 15 @ £26.00 Add
Pack of 30 @ £50.00 Out Of Stock

Durex Play Vibrations ( ref 270)

 
New Durx Play Vibrations, a vibrating ring designed to give you up to 20 minutes of quivering pleasure!
It's easily turned on and off, part of the fun will be experimenting with which way to wear it for maximum stimulation. Durex Play Vibrations can be used with or without condoms, try with a little lubricant to enhance your experience. One ring per packet. More...
Pack of 1 @ £6.99 Add
Pack of 2 @ £12.99 Add

Durex Play (Ref 047)

 
NEW Durex Play Feel as seen on this months TV adverts. This lubricant is designed for pleasure enhancement, making lovemaking more sensual & intense for both partners. Play Feel is ideal to use with condoms. More...
Pack of 1 @ £3.50 Add
Pack of 2 @ £6.75 Add
Pack of 3 @ £9.50 Add

Durex Play Heat lubricant (ref47-01H)

 
New from Durex, a second edition to the 'Play' family Durex Heat creates a warming sensation that will immediately heighten sensitivity on contact. Blow gently to enhance the warming action. safe to use with condoms and water soluble. 50ml pump action bottle. More...
Pack of 1 @ £4.25 Add
Pack of 2 @ £8.00 Add
Pack of 3 @ £11.75 Add

Durex Play Tingle ( ref 047-T)

 
NEW Durex Play Tingle lubricant creates a tingling sensation wherever you put it.
This long lasting silky lube can be used all over the body, ideal for a top to toe tingling experience. Helps enchance intimacy.
Light silicone lubricant, non- greasy and mint flavoured.
Safe to use with condoms and vibrators.
50ml pump action bottle. More...
Pack of 1 @ £4.99 Add
Pack of 2 @ £9.50 Add
Pack of 3 @ £13.95 Add

KY Jelly 75ml tube

 
Fragrance free, non-greasy. To be used with condoms when vaginal dryness causes discomfort. K-Y Jelly safely replaces personal moisture in a way that feels natural and helps enhance sexual pleasure. Unlike oil-based products, K-Y Jelly is safe to use with condoms. Size 75ml.
This is a Johnson & Johnson product. More...
Pack of 1 @ £5.75 Add

Durex Sensilube (Ref 034)

 
Vaginal moisturiser, which supplements the body's natural moisture. Durex Sensilube is second only to natures as it can provide instant relief for dryness. From time to time Women feel the need for additional vaginal lubrication, this is where Sensilube comes to the rescue!
It is odourless and crystal clear and can be used with or without condoms. This product has become one of our best sellers.
40ml bottle. More...
Pack of 1 @ £6.05 Add
Pack of 2 @ £11.50 Add
Pack of 3 @ £17.00 Add

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